Not Good Enough 不夠好

Name: Annie Chen

Nationality: Taiwanese-born American

Vision: Annie wanted to return to her Motherland to teach English,with the hope of rediscovering  her roots in the process. However, Taiwan-the home of her birth, a land she believed to be brimming with opportunity-let her down. She could sit back and let it slide or she could fight; fight for equality and in doing so, offer support and advice to other victims of discrimination. She chose the latter, and thus began her long, hard battle with discrimination and the creation of TADIT. Below is her story. Please read on to get more of an understanding at just how brave and inspirational Annie is. She will not give up, and neither should we. To live in an equal society is an ideal worth fighting for.

 

名字: Annie Chen

國籍:美籍華人

憧憬:Annie 原來想回到她祖國教英文,也希望同時可以發掘她自己的背景。不過, 她的故鄉、她以為充滿好機會的台灣,後來就讓她失望。Annie有了兩個選擇:她可以放棄,或者她可以爭取種族平等,也這樣一來可以向其它被種族歧視的受害者提出忠告和支持。她選擇爭取平等,因此起動了她跟種族歧視的苦戰,還有TADIT的創作. 下面有她的故事。請多看一下,更了解Annie是那麼勇敢與鼓舞人心的一個人。她一輩子不會放棄, 我們也不可以放棄。住在公平的社會是一個值得爭取的理想。

 

我剛到臺灣的時候,我充滿地愛我的發源地的國家,而且我也很高興我可以積極地影響和好好地教這裡的學生。我一直對教育有興趣,我也喜歡小孩,所以我覺得搬到臺灣去教英文是又好又完美的決定。那時我都不知道我會面臨的鬥爭會改變我與永遠改變我對臺灣的看法。

When I first arrived in Taiwan, I was full of love for my mother country and excitement to make a difference in the lives of the students here. I had always been interested in teaching, and had also always loved children, so moving to Taiwan to teach English seemed like a perfectly good decision to make. Little did I know that the battle I was about to face would change me, and the way I view Taiwan, forever.

幸虧我第一年不需要面對那個鬥爭。我找到了第一份工作是很順利的,學校是在一所比較小和有外國老闆的補習班。雖然管理是糟糕,而且管理情況讓我決定不久後就離職,可是這所學校給我很好的教育經驗,而且讓我相信我可以找到比較職業素質的工作環境。

Luckily, I wouldn’t have to deal with that for another year. I got my first job without any problems at a small foreign owned school. While management was atrocious, forcing me to move on after a short period, working at the school gave me solid experience and the confidence to search for a more professional environment.

在找第二份工作,我碰到了在我的未來我會面臨的問題。第二份工作的面試都很順利,可是我的之後的老闆問我願不願意讓家長第一和第二個星期坐在我的教室裡看我的教法。他說他不反對雇用ABC(在美國長大的臺裔),可是一些家長會在意。他一點都不懷疑家長旁聽後會在意。他的話讓我驚訝,可是那時後我覺得他的積極態度是很棒的。我順利地消除了家長的疑問很讓他們肯定我的能力。我在這所補習班工作兩年,可是因為我跟補習班的管理有“內部政治”的問題,所以我又開始找比較適合我的工作。

During the search for my second job, I got a glimpse of what was to come in the future.  The interview went well, and ended with my (future) manager asking me if I’d be okay with parents sitting in on my class for the first week or two. He told me that he had no issues with “ABC” types, but some of the parents would. He was confident that all their concerns would dissolve quickly. I was taken aback but impressed with his positive attitude. I would successfully ease the concerns of those parents and go on to work at that school for another year before making the decision, due to internal politics which I won’t go into detail about, to search for something more suitable for me.

那時我對我的教書能力和職業素質都很有自信,我在第二份工作升遷外籍老師的經理。我找工作找了很久。這個找尋的最後面讓我的心裡很難過,而且這個很沮喪的經驗讓我不想要再找在補習班裡的ESL教師工作。

Feeling confident about my teaching abilities and professionalism (I had been promoted to manager of foreign teachers at the last school), I set out on a very long job search. The search that would, in the end, fill me with so much heartache, it would discourage me from ever applying for an ESL teaching job in a school again.

第一個事件是跟一所已經倒閉的學校電話面試。我的朋友給我介紹,可是他只給他們我的名字,沒有告訴他們我的姓是陳。我通過電話面試,所以他們邀請我到他們的公司有現場面試,可是掛電話前,他們的員工問我[妳的口音聽起來是美國的,妳在哪裡出生的?]我很開心地回答我在臺灣出生,可是我過大多數的日子在美國,再加上我是雙國籍者。她回答得很緊張[噢,抱歉,我們只能雇用外國人!],然後她馬上掛了電話。我的反應是再打他們的電話,可是她不敢再接我的電話。我大吃一驚了。不久後難過代替這個震驚的感受,然後憤怒代替難過。這個是第一件事,而且我接二連三遇到了很多這種的歧視情況。

The first incident that occurred was a phone interview with a school that has since closed down. The school was referred to me by a friend who had only given them my first name, so they didn’t know about my very Taiwanese last name, “Chen”. The phone interview was successful, and I was asked to go for an in-person interview. Just before the call ended, the interviewer asked me a very pointed question. “Your accent sounds American. Where were you born?”. I happily answered that I was born in Taiwan but had spent most of my life in the US, and that I was a duel citizen. The response I received was a frantic, “Oh sorry! Foreigners only!”, immediately followed by the interviewer hanging up the phone. My response was to dial back the number, but she did not dare to pick up the phone again. I was beyond shocked. That shock would soon be replaced with sadness, then anger. It would be the first of MANY incidents of discrimination I would face in Taiwan.

我沒有準備面臨這種的拒斥。之前我沒相信在臺灣(我的老家)因為我的膚色不是白色,因此我會被拒斥。之前我認為我可以一邊教英文一邊再發現我的生根。因為我是一個亞裔在美國長大,所以之前我希望我可以在臺灣找到一個不能解釋可是知道存在的一種意識或感受。那時候我的感受是去向不明,無助與非常孤單。任何的東西不能準備面對這種的感受或我之後面臨的事件。

I had not prepared myself for this rejection. I had not believed that I could be rejected in Taiwan, my mother country, for not having white skin. I had believed that I could teach English, and at the same time re-discover my roots. I had hoped that I could find that part of me I always felt was missing, as an Asian American growing up in the USA. I felt lost, helpless, and very alone. Nothing could have prepared me for this feeling, or all that was to come next.

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